I’ve been watching, and participating, in forums for about 7 years now. I’ve seen a number of them degenerate into name-calling, trolling, and just general nasty behavior. It seems that left alone the Internet helps foster an atmosphere that is just plain mean. Every closet bully gets the opportunity to hurt others. It’s also a level playing field. Where else does someone who views himself as a lower get to take a shot at anyone who wants to hang around to get the shot?
It’s fascinating to me, to be honest. Why do so many degenerate like that? Have we fostered a culture where it is better to criticize and hurt then it is to build up and encourage? Is it the anonymous nature of the Internet that makes it happen? Or is it a symptom of our nastier, meaner times?
One of the rules I’ve always had in my business is that there are three levels of comm: (1) email, (2) phone and (3) in person. Email is best when you want precision and there are little or no emotional matters going on. If there is a problem, or a miscomm, pick up the phone. It’s too easy to misinterpret quickly written emails. And ever so often you need a face-to-face with your team. That’s why I schedule regular seminars for my clients. I hope they can attend so we all get a chance to reconnect.
One exception to the rule regarding writing instead of phone: I do believe a heartfelt note that is well-thought-out is really high up the chain though. It’s amazing what a little card can do to soothe troubled waters or to create a great business connection.
So back to the issue with forums and blogs that degenerate. There is an inherent problem when you can’t see someone else. Unless you WANT to be a bully, in which case I’m sure there is a forum already for you, I think it’s better to err on the side of being meticulous in your comments. Humor doesn’t always come off right on the Internet. And if you tell a joke that makes fun of someone’s age, gender, race, beliefs or anything else that is unique and important to another human being, you’re going to insult someone.
I’ve worked with bullies before and I’ve seen that one of the secrets is to get the crowd on their side. They do it through little things… “Oh, they are too sensitive” ”They can’t take a joke” etc… and the crowd laughs nervously because they don’t want the bully targetting them next. But it never feels right. I’ve been one of those people caught laughing nervously and NEVER AGAIN. It is something I am not proud of and view as one of the lowest points in my life as a human being.
So, this is my rant for the day. I promise you, I will do everything I can to keep this and all of my other sites free of bullying comments and “jokes” that aren’t funny and instead demean and hurt others. And, I’m going to work, every single day, to add a touch of graciousness (as my assistant Carolyn says) to my businesses.
Face it, we’re all getting beaten up in these tense economic times. We need a place where it’s still okay to dream and try new things. That’s what my job is, I think, to protect and create an environment both here and in my live seminars, where it’s okay to dream again, where magic can happen and where we can venture out of our little self-created boxes into the sunlight again.
July 13th, 2008 at 9:29 am
I just got some debut software, so the forum there is new. Funny- I was looking at it and thinking what if it were my forum. I’m firmly grounded in psychology, so I was considering questions like how would I build community, etc. .
Everyone is talking about continuity programs as a way to generate revenue, and that’s all well and good. If they’re going to do that, though, it would seem logical to ponder how to get people invested in the site by building a community identity, and community values (like not bullying, helping others, etc). Building “community” is the easiest way to get people to stick around, even if the content is marginal.
It harks back to the issue we both believe– that people will be craving more contact and connection.
July 13th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Great case in point on the forum at TaxLoopholes right now. One of our members posted a video of his wife singing a song she wrote herself. It is so beautiful and she sings and play the guitar well. But the raw emotion you saw and felt from her as she sang about a painful time brought tears to my eyes.
I don’t think her husband would have posted that to a forum that was known for making fun of others. Her emotion was too raw. It was a leap of faith for her to show that and for her husband to post it.
I am honored to be part of the forum that made it okay for him to do that. I think this is part of why I was put on this earth. And yes, Beta J, I think that when you do that life’s purpose combined with some economic sense behind it, that’s when you can become truly rich.
July 13th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
BTW Beta J, I’d love to get any ideas from the psychological point of view, on how to build community!
One of my favorite books of all time is Robert Cialdini’s “Influence” Maybe we need Beta J’s “Continuity” as the next how-to best-seller.
July 13th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Diane, do you think the uncontrolled nature of most forums allows for the degeneration? If anyone can post than you’re bound to get X amount of people who are bullies or just plain nasty. And the bigger the forum the harder it is to police comments. The Taxloopholes Forum, being fee-based, makes it so that just trollers aren’t there…just people who truly have made an investment that says “I want to be part of this.”
In thinking about starting a blog and forum for myself I’m wondering about this…I may have to offer it for free to build it, but I think making it a subscription Forum would allow for much more control and sense of community. I know I get the feeling that all of us who participate in it have the “right attitude” and want to not only get help, but give it as well.
More to think about…
July 13th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Mary100,
It’s so funny that you bring that point of the fee-based versus open up. I am always being told by IM guys that I need to open it up to get the great content available for the spiders. The other side of the argument is that I believe it is because we make it fee-based, that it tends to keep people out.
I see the stats behind the forum, so I see how many people are coming to the forum and not comment. On any one day, we’ll get 2,000 - 4,000 visits. Even though it might feel that we’re smaller because there are a limited number of posters, it is actually quite big.
Some forum administrators get upset with the “lurkers” who come to read and not post. I’m actually quite happy with them. I get the sense that they are nervous and want to make sure that they will be welcome. I’m sure there are people that are new and intimidated by the amazing posters we have. (We have some real rock stars on the forum - start a business, sure, now what? I mean, the things our group does without even giving it a second thought are beyond the wildest dreams of many others.)
July 13th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Oh, and my answer to the free versus fee was to highlight on the front page of the website. It allows people to see what’s going on, but not actually read or comment. So, they know it’s an active forum and see my name so that they know I’m on every day. Plus the 30 day free trial takes a lot of the uncertainty out.
We have very few cancellations and now that we’ve offered the annual and lifetime plan we’re seeing a trend of people coming for free, staying for a few months (to make sure the quality stays) and then just going to annual or lifetime.
July 13th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
I think it’s a great model - I can understand the spyder issue, but I think that could be gotten around by putting comments referring to the most active, interesting, informational, etc. Forum posts in your Blogs, which to some degree you have already done. Was that on purpose?
With that many visits it would be interesting to know the percentage increase in subscriptions over a 3-6 month timeframe - especially if you could also relate it to how many free 30-day trials you’ve gotten. And if it’s not a high enough conversion rate, then start figuring out how to get it higher.
The next question would be how many active participants do you get relative to the subscribers? I don’t think that’s an issue…you actually want lots of readership but too many posters could swamp the ability for anyone to keep up and certainly your ability to keep an active presence. If it went to 100 new posts a day I know I wouldn’t have time to read it all.
So, can a Forum become too big - I think so, but I’d be very interested in everyone else’s opinions.
July 14th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
We have a couple of people every day signing up. If there is a hot topic going on - it can go to about 10. And if I send out an email highlighting items, we’ll have a spike of 20-30 sign ups per day for a few days. But those tend to not hang around past the 30 day mark.
Without the spike, we probably have about 75-80% retention.